In the Doghouse

Man...I didn't do nuthin'!

Backstory...The youngest spawn came home sick from school midmorning one day last week and stayed home sick again the next day.  And, then he got over the plague and went back to school.  So what you say?

Rufus versus the $50 backpack is what.

What we all failed to remember was that in the bottom of that backpack was an old lunch with ham in it that didn't get eaten the day the spawn came home early.  The Dragon's senses are keen, and being a jackass he tore through canvas and stitching in the bottom of the bag to get that lunch.  The only thing left standing was the lettuce.

What can I say?  That damn dog loves him some ham.  Probably even more than he loves Farmer Ted and parmesan cheese.

Weird Files

The missing frog wind chime appeared.  We were rigging up some fencing around the apricot stumps to thwart Thumper, and I looked over at the apple tree and there it was.  I didn't put it there.  Ted didn't put it there.  The spawn sure as shit didn't put it there.  The thought of them actually picking something up off the ground voluntarily has me laughing so hard that I'm crying.  If I didn't "politely request" that they clean up their dishes and trash, they'd drown in a sea of potato chip bags, candy wrappers, soda cans, dirty plates and various articles of clothing they discard in the heat of the day.

The most memorable weird files incident I've had to date was when the youngest spawn was 5 or 6 and the eldest around 9 or 10.  Clearly, they were potty trained.  I woke up one morning, went downstairs to make breakfast and there was a dirty diaper in the kitchen trash.  Huh?

Potty training.  Boy, I don't miss those days.  The eldest was easy.  We bribed him with a ginormous toy backhoe.  It sat on the top of the fridge for about two weeks.  And that was that.  The youngest, my stubborn child, took a little longer.  He turned 3, and we started.  That child went everywhere, except the toilet.  One day after about a month, I made him sit for what seemed hours.  No dice.  We were in the process of making cookies, so I let him come back in the kitchen.  He no sooner climbed back onto the chair to help and peed all over the cabinets.  I was defeated. I sat him down and told him that 4 was the magic number.  I said that they don't make diapers for 4 year olds, so when that day came and he had no more diapers if he had an accident then he'd be the one cleaning it up.  The morning of his 4th birthday, he woke up.  We put on big boy underpants.  That child hasn't had an accident, not even at night, ever.  Not once.  And that's where the stubbornness becomes a blessing.

Look!  More yellow tomatoes.  And, some peas.  The peas have been disappointing this year.  We'll go straight from seeds next time and put plenty down.

And for tonight's finale...

The Not So Elusive Hummer

That's right folks.  Thumper showed up, lulled the Dragon into a comatose state.  Just as I was blogging about missing the hummingbird...again...he?...she?...it?...decided to come back for seconds.  Teehee.

Next...I dunno, but I'm having yellow cherry tomatoes with balsamic vinaigrette with my lunch tomorrow.  We already snacked on the peas.

Wooly Aphids

On our nightly sojourn through the backyard surveying our gardens, I looked at my coneflowers and said, “WTF is that?”  Then, I quickly noticed “that” was also on the phlox, the hummingbird bush, and the black-eyed susans.  “That” appeared to be something akin to a white mildew that I have found on the phlox before, but thicker.  Like cottony.  We moved on.  Nothing new in the veggies.  I stopped to pinch back a flowering cilantro plant, and there “that” was again.  Upon closer inspection “that” was clearly a pest with wings and legs and a weird white fuzzy back. 

Gross.

At piano, I pulled out the piece of shit iPhone and googled “fuzzy white garden bug” and after waiting and waiting and waiting (damn you 3G network) I saw a reference to something called the Wooly Aphid.  Farmer Ted viewed the image and confirmed that we have indeed caught the Wooly Aphids.  Which is much better than catching say…the crabs.

I digress…back when Farmer Ted and I first had our initial flirtation on Facebook (yes we are one of those couples), he made a comment on a pic of me in my “Slammin’ Halloween Witch Hat.”

I volleyed with a comment on a pic of him with a big ass stone crab “I see you’ve caught crabs, they have meds for that.”

He started making daily FB proclamations that I was the "hottest woman in the solar system," and the rest is history.

Back to the aphids.  Anonymous recently commented on one of our blog posts with an inquiry as to how we have combatted pests thus far.  Frankly, we’ve done little.  We had an initial issue with cutworms, but surrounded the young plants with cut-out Dixie cups to enable them to grow tall enough so the cutworms couldn’t get at the leaves.  Success.  We’ve been organic so far, and in solidarity with our friend Maintzie and the Becky Spach Landes Memorial Garden we will try to remain true to organic pest control.

Right this minute, we are boiling a head of garlic in water and will be spraying those menaces.  If that doesn’t work, we’ll try cayenne pepper water.  If that doesn’t work, I am not opposed to employing the use of DDT to save my flowers.  Just like I’m not opposed to lighting up Thumper’s ass with a paintball gun.  You'd better stay away from my apricot stumps, silly rabbit.

Next…Rufus vs. the Hummingbird.  Note we still do not have hummingbird pics.