Thursday, March 29, 2012

Just when I thought I had experienced all of the weirdness in the world...

I woke up yesterday morning, and my friend Nicole had posted the best Facebook status Ever...


Hilaria ensued, and she concluded that was a term she could go the rest of her life without ever having to hear again.  So, of course my Facebook status was...


And there was all kind of speculation.

If you guessed that Vajazzling involves bedazzling your Va-Jay-Jay, then you win.  If you can call that kind of knowledge winning.

Yes people, the newest thing in vaginas is to bling them out with crystals.

And then, I took a household poll about it with the NC-17 members of the house (the eldest spawn turns 17 this year and he refused to leave the room...stop judging me)...

Me:  What would you do if you were hooking up with a chick and her hoo-ha was decorated with Swarovski crystals in the shape of a butterfly?

Ted:  Don't get any bright ideas.

Me:  So, I'm right then and that's really fucking weird?

Ted:  Hookers.

Me:  Don't you think it would be uncomfortable?  To have crytals glued to your genitalia?

Ted:  Fucking Hookers.

Eldest Spawn:  Ummm, I think I'm going to go upstairs.  I'm tired.

Ted:  Vaginal decoration.  Really?

Eldest Spawn:  Goodnight.

Thanks Nicole.  You've scarred the spawn for life.  I didn't even go into the whole Winter Bush thing.

New...There is a website dedicated to this www.vajazzling.com, which isn't surprising.  What is surprising is that people can send in their own homegrown vajazzles.  Warning:  There is a heavy dose of razor burn.

If a man vajazzles, is it still vajazzling?
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4 comments:

  1. ReidMarch 29, 2012 at 11:12 PM

    You make me laugh when I am so friggin bored sometimes!!! Priceless....Bedazzler....Damn~

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousMarch 30, 2012 at 7:41 AM

    I can't believe Ted has no comment on this blog.

    ReplyDelete
  3. SquidMarch 30, 2012 at 9:58 AM

    Okay so do you Vajazzle because you intend on showing off the Jewels or just in case someone gets a peek? And what happens if falls off during some spectactular lovemaking? May cause lacerations....imagine explaining THAT to the paramedics/er nurses!

    ReplyDelete
  4. TedMarch 30, 2012 at 6:54 PM

    Vagizzialing... Is what it's called when a guy does it. I'm coming up with some classic shit but I need to clean the lair first. I'm just gonna... "Throw it out there..." and say that "I'm my opinion..." If Miss Puss is all tatted up... and "Vagjazzled out?"


    You're a slut.

    ReplyDelete

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