Saturday, November 12, 2011

I'm pretty sure that my friends are trying to kill me.

How do you celebrate turning 50?  I ask because my friend Sue is having her "I'm Old As Dirt" milestone birthday next year.  At least that's what I call it because at 49, she is way hotter than I am at 42.  That, and the fact that I have found myself forced to get into some sort of exercise regime again because of this birthday, makes me snarky.

You see, I was in pretty good shape when Farmer Ted and I hooked up two years ago.  I was eating healthy, exercising daily and pretty buff.  And then I broke a toe on my left foot, so the exercise stopped.  And then because of overcompensating with my right leg for the broken toe, I messed up my right knee, so the exercise remained at a halt.  And then the former Chef moved up here, so I gained 10 or so pounds and am no longer buff.  And now I really have no excuse not to start exercising again other than I've gotten used to sleeping in, and I've been okay with that.  Until the "Old As Dirt" Birthday Bash plans were unveiled.

Surprise Party?  No.  Girl's Weekend?  Sortof.  Lazy Girl's Weekend Spent Lazily at Either a Farm on a River or a Mountain Home on a Lake Drinking and Goofing Off?  Wrong.  THIS?  THIS is what my freak friends want to do...When did my friends lose their damn minds?

Be sure to watch the entire video, so you don't miss the parts where we have to jump over piles of burning logs and crawl through a mud pit under barbed wire.  To add insult to injury, the final leg of the race is to apparently consume a turkey leg the size of your head.  I'm a goddamned vegetarian friends.  Really?

Next...I don't know.  I'm in training for this and Ted is working 14 hours a day.  We might take a day trip tomorrow to get me out of my foul (or is it fowl) mood because he has the day off.  He's working so much, the Owner of the restaurant is making him stay home.  He's worried it's going to kill my favorite Farmer.


  1. We need to hear more about Chef Ted's return to the kitchen!! I've heard about those Warrior Dashes - they scare me!! It would be Warrior Death for me because I'm so out of shape! I know you'll rock it, and maybe they'll have a Tofu Turkey Leg for you! ;)

  2. Suck it up Meesh- we're going to rock the warrior dash, like only we can!! Hope you guys have a great day off, don't forget to workout 'cause I am NOT dragging you through fire....

  3. You ladies have fun with all that... I'm sure that you guys will kick some ass! I want to see some pictures of all of this.

    My job? The only thing that I can say is that I LOVE it! I had forgotten exactly how much I missed the fast pace of the whole thing. The other night, Farmer Chele came to visit me at work and I took her back into the kitchen to show her how I've been spending my time... I think that she was impressed... She's never seen "The back of the house" where all of the action happens... It was pretty cool being able to show her that I was in total control of three (3) Cleveland Steamers... (Because that's how we roll.) If you don't know what a Cleveland Steamer is? (Google it... I dare ya.) Actually... A Cleveland Steamer is INDEED an industrial steamer....)

    The work hours are long but the cash is good so I suppose that it's an even trade. get this... My employees? I have two other cooks... Working two shifts a day... Six days a week... (Yeah... You read it right...) The guy who owns the place is COOL as SHIT! He jumps back and helps us out; No questions asked. He and his wife are good people... Just as "Down to earth" as you and me. In this business... It's really uncommon to find an owner that actually gives a fuck about the people that work for him... Very uncommon.

  4. No way in hell I would ever do that for a 50th birthday party...have fun with THAT! Ted, so glad to hear you love your's the best feeling ever! (I love my job too!) I mean, it has its stresses and I feel the corporate hand smash me down sometimes (like any big business), but for the most part, I'm in my bubble, and left alone to do my thing. My boss leaves me be because she trusts me to make the decisions on my own. A few years ago I got to purchase a 40 gallon Groen Kettle for our Dye Lab. It's so cool to have such a big cooking machine at my finger tips! ...even though we can't cook in it, now that it's been used for dying fabric. Lastly, once again, Michelle your crazy for doing that warrior dash! Good luck, and yes, pics please! Anna

  5. Warrior Dash will be a BLAST! They won't know what hit them once we get there. Meesh, you get to go first and lead the way. Set the pace gf. So proud of you for broadening your physical abilities and sucking it up for the birthday girl. Pics? Hmmmm, don't know bout that. What goes on at WD, may have to stay at WD.

  6. Turkey Leg? We got gypped here. There was no turkey included. Face paint and people dressed up yes..tasty meat treats, no.

    I report this as a spectator. My 3% body fat running friends did this. I was not about to tackle it myself. Kudos to you!

    - Lara (Spotty)