Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Clash of the Seasons

You may or may not be aware, but it snowed here last Saturday.  And, snow for us in October is almost unheard of.  I think the last time it snowed here in October was like 40 years ago.  This was no fly by night snowstorm.  It was a Nor'Easter, which has hurricane force winds but with snow in this case instead of rain.  An inch of rain equals a foot of snow, or I think I remember that to be true.  Don't quote me on it.

Anyways, here at GrowDammit Central we were supposed to get between 2-4 inches of snow.  I'm not sure how much we actually got because the Wannabes did the sensible thing.  Fly south for the winter?  No, No, No...we drove to northern points, where they were expecting 6-12 inches of snow.

You see, there was a surprise 40th birthday party that we didn't want to miss.

We left at 10:30am. Note the forecast said the snow wasn't supposed to start until after noon.

Once we arrived, the party host called concerned that she had no power.  To which I responded "Who needs power to party?"  And, we didn't even though they got 8 inches.  We had food that could be eaten cold or grilled and plenty of booze.  We celebrated.  We discussed various words that are used for a certain female body part, and why some were worse than others.  We encouraged the 20 year old son of a friend to drunk crank call people with spooky messages from some crazy iPhone app.  We gave a valuable PSA about why you shouldn't touch the whale (I'll leave this to Farmer Ted).

We spent good times with good people, and the next day's drive home was glorious...

Only made better by the fact that at home, the snow had mostly melted.

Happy Birthday Kori.  Happy Not Birthday Jill.


  1. Damn right... They called for a Nor'easter so we hauled ass to the mountains! It was Kori's birthday so it was one of those "We'll be there no matter what" type of things; Besides... Kori sent us a couple deep dish pizzas from Chicago a few weeks ago. Farmer Chele and I were able to share a slice and we were lucky to have gotten that. The Youngest spawn and his wrecking crew totally destroyed that bitch within a matter of minuets. I call them the "wrecking crew." What an understatement; It's not that bad though... They're slowly getting with the "Clean up after yourself" program. I'd MUCH rather them stay here and mess up the house as opposed to going over to someone else's house...This way... I can keep my eye on them.

    "Touching the whale." (It's not what you think, so save your Moby Dick jokes for another time.") So Some friends and I were at the beach house, sittin' around doing God only knows when a friend had just came back from the beach and comes flying up into the house and says..."Dude! There's a fuckin' dead whale on the beach!!" I'll set the scene... If you've ever been to my house...You'll soon notice that there's a LOT of skulls of various animal...Birds...Dolphins... Ribs from whales... Owl claws... Turtle shells... Mastodon teeth... Shark jaws and a shit load of just off the wall shit. (I'll get Chele to post some pictures.) Anyways... "Dude...There's a fuckin' whale on the beach!" So we all scrambled around and hauled ass down to see it; We get down there and there it was...A fucking whale... It wasn't like....A huge whale, it was like 15 or 20 feet long but make no doubt about it... It was a whale. We were the only ones on the beach because it was early in the morning and cold as shit outside. So we're ALL OVER this thing. We were trying to figure out how to cut the jaw out but we soon came to the conclusion that it wasn't happening so we settled for the next best thing. I was gonna yank it's teeth out. I run back to the house to grab the biggest pair of channel locks that I could find and I haul ass back down to the dead whale. So I get back down there and there's my crew talking with some DNR officials wearing HAZMAT suits and they were all taking samples and shit.... Spraying the whale down with some kinda Anti-Funk spray and they asked us "Did anyone touch this whale?" Us- "Nope." Them- "Come on... Who touched the whale?" Us- "Not us..." Them- "We need to know who touched this whale." Us- "It wasn't us." So this went on for a while...They start asking us one by one... "Was it You?" "You?" "You?".... "No." "No." "No." The lead DNR guy then says..."Well... Lemme tell you what will happen to WHOEVER touched that whale within the next couple of days after touching THAT whale." "That whale died of bacterium that settled in the respiratory system of the whale (Which is a mammal.... See where I'm going with this?) and if that bacterium finds it's way into the HUMAN respiratory system...It can be fatal." "So...Who touched the whale?" We looked at each other and the next thing ya know..."Okay...We touched the whale." They had to spray us down with the Anti-Funk shit...It was pretty humiliating. It's pretty funny looking back on it.

    Snow in October... All of the trees still have their leaves so once you add a ton of snow on a leaf filled tree...The limbs get too heavy and break off... There were trees and limbs down ALL OVER the place... Roads closed...It was crazy.

  2. I totally forgot about the toddler pants sighting.

  3. Why would anyone want to touch a dead anything? Yuck. The pictures are beautiful. We never get snow so seeing the pictures is amazing. Even more amazing are the pictures of the leaves changing colors. I can honestly say I have never seen anything like that in person. We just have pine needles.

  4. no pics of the dead whale???

  5. They are boys Maintzie...touch a dead animal = hellz yeah.

    They are boys Anonymous...pics = not so much.