Monday, May 16, 2011


Last night's was the first tomato sandwich of the year.  Not GrowDammit tomatoes, but fresh and from a farm.

I am a tomato sandwich purist.  This means no lettuce, Farmer Ted.  The only health concession I make is whole wheat or grain bread instead of white.  Mayo (not salad dressing...Mayo), salt & pepper.  If you're from the south, then only Duke's Mayo will do.  If you're a Yankee, then you don't know what you're missing and whatever your preferred mayo is acceptable.  If you're a transplanted Yankee, go find yourself a jar of Duke's.  Let me stress that a little mayo goes a very long way.  You want to enhance the sweetness of the tomato, not smother it in mayonnaise. Same with the salt & pepper.  It's all about the tomato, hence the name of the sandwich.

Next...Ted has tackled the hall ceiling again.  I imagine that's what he'll be doing for the next 3 days as well, since the forecast is rain, rain and rain with some thunderstorms and some rain.  I thought the saying went April showers?  And, look for a new poll shortly.


  1. Oh.... That'll be the LAST time that Farmer Chele will find a piece of lettuce on her tomato sandwich. Enjoy!

    This rain is EXACTLY what we needed for the garden! Night before last, It poured buckets and we thought that we were gonna have some damage but... Nope! Everything's lookin' GREAT! We spent all Sunday out in the yard, doing the weeding thing and I'm here to tell you... "Filter Cloth" is the way to go. I usually use the stuff but we decided against it this time; I forget exactly why but next season? Yeah.... To be quite honest....I think that it's a big waste of money but the older that I get...I'm realizing exactly how old that I truly am. (That's some depressing shit.)

    Well.....The ceiling is almost done. If I were a slacker... I'd consider it to be done but it has a few "Imperfections" from the way I see it and doing a half ass job just doesn't do it for me. You can save yourself a load of bullshit down the road if you do it right... The first time; Besides.... I wanna see exactly how "good," I can make it look, seeing as how I've never fucked around with plaster before but I'm not one to shy away from a challenge.

    So I'm looking at a box of crayons right now... "Crayola" brand. It says... "24 Nontoxic Crayons." "Preferred by Teachers." Now.... I'm not here to call anyone stupid, but... Who in the FUCK has ever eaten a crayon?... And glue. Elmer's Glue... What jackass eats glue? I know that kids will put everything in their mouths but, shit.... Crayons and glue?! I never did that shit as a kid and this I know for a FACT! (And this is coming from the same dumb ass that will smoke cigarettes like my name is R.J. Reynolds.) Oh yeah.... It's the same dumb ass that puts lettuce on tomato sandwiches.

    Did you know that Hallmark owns Crayola? (It's true.)

  2. Farmer Chele, Wilson raised us girlies on tomato sandwiches made the same way! Well, we didn't have the Duke's and they were Jersey tomatoes, but it's all relative, right?

    Since I have been transplanted to the south, perhaps now is the time to pick up a jar of Duke's. It's advertised all over the place, but I never find any coupons for it! Guess I'll just bite the bullet and shell out the bucks!

    Farmer Ted, I do not like weeding. Matter in fact, I hate it! Sadly, I am the only one left in this house who loves the garden thing (still working on Miss Renee!), so I am the one who ends up doing it. We actually used some of that landscape fabric up in New York, and those crazy weeds grew ON TOP of it, right through the mulch! Aggrrrrr! Couldn't believe it!

    Perfectionism. It's a good thing, but it will drive you nuts! I bet once you get done, that will be one happy ceiling.

    Not only am I entertained by visiting your blog, but I learn so much, too. I had no idea that Hallmark owned Crayola. No wonder their stuff is so expensive!

    Oh, and by the way, my word verification today is the word 'unrip'. Is that the opposite of 'let 'er rip'?

  3. Do ya'll compost? I'd really like to hear your take on this and if you do not, then I would like to suggest a night of compost via The Google...

    Duke's. I am a transplanted Yankee (a "damn yankee" since I moved to the South and never moved back to the North) but my wife is pure Ashville/Greenville Carolina bred. I understand the need for Duke's!

    Lettuce on a tomato sandwich: That's the chef in Ted. And just to keep it real? I'll also take bacon on mine! :-)

  4. @Mare...there is a reason you will not find Duke's on sale or with a coupon. I'm lost on the unrip thing, but thumbs up on "let 'er rip."

    @Anonymous...adding lettuce and bacon would make the sandwich a BLT. I keep stressing that it's named a TOMATO sandwich for a reason. Both spawn want the BLT without the LT and without the carb that makes it a sandwich. I think one day they will walk into a Hooters and order a chicken breast sandwich "without the chicken."

  5. As for the composting, I was going to make this a blog post. I'm going to leave it here for a comment to those who care to check back. I have a place for composting that was made 10 years ago when I moved into this house. Note: pine needles are to a compost pile what diapers are to a landfill. That plus what I found back there this last fall that justified my decision to make the theme song for Sanford & Son my cell phone ring for a few years, means that we have some cleaning up to do before we can compost. The bonus is that we found some recyclable garden fencing and tomato cages that had been discarded AND there probably is some decent compost material underneath the stuff. We make lemonade outta lemons.

  6. I love mater sands. :D and miss yall!

  7. Holy Shit! It's Amanda! You and Chris need to come up for a visit! (Seriously...Come up for a visit.)

    The compost area.....Boy. You opened up a can of worms with THAT one. All I can say is that we'll have compost sometime in the near future.

    Well the ceiling and the walls are nearly done! This time tomorrow I should be crowing about a job well done. We'll post some pictures once it's complete. There's a great picture that I painted years ago while whacked out on drugs, that will look GREAT against the red wall. I keep that self portrait around as a reminder of just how fucked in the head drugs will make you. (As you can tell.... I'm not a fan of hard drugs; Nothing good ever comes of it.) Anyways.

    Good 'ol Dukes. Other than making it yourself? Dukes is the way to go. Here's a recipe for the day. Mayonnaise. Get the blender, three or four egg yolks, (YOLKS.... If you use the white... You're fuckin' up.) Dijon mustard, lemon juice and vegetable oil. If you use olive oil? (It's gonna taste like olive oil.) What you're looking for is a neutral tasting oil; Some salt and white pepper, (Because you don't want black specks in the Mayonnaise) and you're off to the races. Put the yolks and about a good spoonful of Dijon into the blender and let it rip. While the blender is doing it's thing.... You'll drizzle the oil in. What's a drizzle? I'll explain it to ya. A drizzle is a slow steady stream... About the size if a piece of yarn; Or better yet... The size of a piece of spaghetti. So you're doing the slow steady stream of oil and after a bit...You'll see the stuff start to congeal and the next thing ya know... You have mayonnaise. Add about a teaspoon of the lemon juice and the salt and white pepper and BOOOM! You're done. Mayonnaise 101. (Or just buy Dukes.)

    And don't even get me started on Blenheim's Ginger Ale. (Another jewel from the South.)

  8. I am thinking thick slice of mater with some of the fresh basil a thick piece of mozzarella and some heavy olive oil, maybe a little black pepper. July will be a good month. As for the rains, I am afraid to walk between the rows of the beds for fear of loosing a shoe in the red clay black kow mixture. Will be curious to see the creative production as the result of the schedule 2 experience. As for the ceiling business, there are things a I do well and things that I have discovered that it is best if I bring in someone who knows what the hell they are doing. And lastly, the hot ginger ale is just phenomenal.