The Bean Poll is up...

Y'all stop by and vote!

Peas and Carrots

It's a tie.  It would also seem we are friends with a bunch of wiseacres.  Interestingly enough, just as soon as one would pull ahead someone would vote for the other.  LMAO

What can I say about today?  The wintry mix forecast that I thought was gone is back on.  It's looking like we will be getting snow showers Friday morning...sooooo...no planting happened today.

Read Ted's comment on yesterday's blog post.  You'll get more of Ted vs. the Ceiling and more of Rufus vs. the Pizza.  He asked for Zorro Rufus so here you go.

Yah.  There's a happy dog.  Rest assured, we never did that to him again.  If I recall, the second he got outside it was Rufus vs. the Halloween Costume and we never found the mask.

Next...check us out for a new poll tomorrow.  It promises to bean a good one.  And, maybe our garden blog can actually get back to gardening.

Be careful what you wish for...

Since it was once again too cold to garden, Ted took the hint and attacked the ceiling in the upstairs hallway.  LMAO

This ceiling has been a royal pain in the ass.  Paint was peeling everywhere because of the really crappy patch job the previous owners of the house did on it.  He's sanded, spackled, sanded some more and couldn't get the ceiling even.  So, he has an idea.  When he worked on his sister's house, she had that popcorn ceiling that for some ungodly reason was popular back in the 80s.  All he had to do was wet down the ceiling and scrape the popcorn off to get a nice even ceiling.  His plan was to do that in this case.  Ummm, did the can explode?  The eldest spawn said, "Maybe she won't notice."  Won't notice?  LOL.  Even Rufus Dragon knows better than that.

Every now and then, FedEx delivers a package to my house that is really for a neighbor who lives on a street with a similar name.  Instead of calling FedEx, I just deliver the package myself to the neighbor.  One day, I was leaving to pick up the youngest spawn from preschool and there was a package on my doorstep.  Since I was running late, I just pulled the box inside and left it under the table in the front hall until later.  When I got home and opened the front door, Rufus took off out the front door like a rocket.  What the hell?  He's usually jumping all over you for attention when you get home.  Even if you're gone for 5 minutes.  He's shameless that way.  I walked in and immediately see a trail all the way through the house to the Kitchen in the back of the house of shredded box, packing peanuts, ripped open plastic wrap and...parmesan cheese?  That dog had torn into the better part of a 5 lb. block of parmesan cheese.  Block?  Too be honest, it could've started out as a wheel but now looked like a whittled down Rock of Gibralter.  Rufus vs. the Parmesan Cheese.  I should've gotten a picture.  Who mails parmesan cheese?  Who needs a delivery of 5 pounds of it?

Next...It looks like they took the words "wintry mix" out of the forecast, so maybe we'll actually have some planting going on tomorrow.  Ted can leave the hall mess until later this week when we're supposed to have 3 days of never ending rain. (hint, hint)

Happy Birthday Farmer Ted!

I wish the weather had been better for the birthday boy, and even though it reached a balmy 44 with the wind it was freaking freezing.  At least we didn't get the forecasted snow showers this morning.  Ted seemed a bit down in the dumps about it, so we took what is becoming our weekly field trip to the Home Depot.  It's a shame they don't serve beer and have a pub like our favorite grocery store, Wegmans.

Wegmans is awesome.  We have a Wegmans Growler that we call Junior.  We go every week to get our growler on and grocery shop.  It makes dealing with those shoppers that must really believe they are the ONLY people shopping that day more tolerable.  You know the ones.  They park their cart in the middle of the aisle and then stand next to it perusing their choices of canned fruit cocktail.  They tear out of an aisle  without stopping to make sure someone who can't see them isn't coming.  They let their spawn run amok with the junior carts.  But, I digress...

At the HD, we got some more material for trellises.  We need two more.  And, we got some stuff so Ted can paint the hallway ceiling this week (hint, hint).

Anyway, Happy Bday Ted!  The fab supper of blackened scallops and mango/pineapple salsa that you made was amazing.  (Hey, I'm not the retired chef!)

Next...I promised you berries.  We want to try branch out with fruit.  Does anyone have any suggestions about the best two species of blueberries to cross-pollinate?  And what's your favorite fig?  There are like  500 varieties.  Who knew?

Tobacco and Intercourse

Ted is a smoker.  Smoking these days is an expensive habit.  Long gone are the days of the 89 cent pack of smokes.  For now, in an attempt to cut back he's gone from cigs to loose tobacco and a pipe.  He is smoking less, and discovering his inner Arthur Miller.  This prompted the idea of growing our own tobacco.  Our pal Bo once told me that "in the South, tobacco is a vegetable."  I honestly didn't think it could be grown up here in Yankee land, but I was wrong...which doesn't happen often. ;)

What the hell does this have to do with Intercourse?  When Googling this, the site I came across had a lovely picture of tobacco plants being grown on a farm in Intercourse.  Yes, there is a town named Intercourse.  And, it's in Pennsylvania.  As a matter of fact, I took Ted to Intercourse this Summer.  He enjoyed it.  There's also a town named Blue Ball.  He didn't like that so much.

Now, I come to find out that not only can we grow tobacco but it flowers!  My friend Tink clued me into that.  Here is proof on her blog My Mobile Adventures...http://mymobileadventures.com/2009/05/tobacco-who-knew


So, I think we are going to try it.  Probably not this year though, so I guess this blog post is a cliffhanger.


Next, to plant or not to plant?  That is the question.  And, berries?

The West Chester Hillbillies strike again.

A garden is like an autobiography.  I can't remember where I read that.  I suppose I could Google it, but all I know is I didn't come up with it.  Anyway, we can't plant anything yet b/c of frost but we can try to make the fence not so ugly.

We need a GrowDammit sign.

Punxatawney Phil has come to visit.

For a second year, he has taken up residence in the burrow he built underneath the Forsythia at the back of the yard.  Right next to one of our gardens.  He made an appearance yesterday, and Rufus Dragon alerted us to the situation.

I used to think he was cute whenever I pulled up, and he was sitting under the apple tree nibbling on fallen fruit.  Then I read about how groundhogs are nothing more than very destructive rodents.

No worries.  We have a plan for him and all the other woodland creatures that ramble through (this means you too Bambi & Thumper).  We've told the eldest spawn to feel free to take some time for target practice with his paintball gun.  If you see a critter with a big green or blue dot smack dab in the middle of their forehead, then you know.

What?  Is that wrong?

Actually, I'm hoping that between Twinkletoes and the fencing the critters will be deterred so don't get anyone with PETA's panties in a wad.  No animals have been harmed during the writing of this blog.

Next...transplanting tomatoes.  And a high of 43 on Saturday?  Didn't you say it was going to be an early Spring Phil?  Maybe you should've stayed in Punxatawny.

Rain...Sleet...Snow Showers...Sigh

Yep, this is tonight's forecast folks.  Ted wanted to be bummed, but then he got really excited to discover that the good ol' Almanac was right again.  He loves that thing.  He's taken to rolling it up and carrying around in his back pocket.  If he didn't, I'm pretty sure it would be in his "library" alongside of the stack of back National G's  and Garden & Gun's he found.

Unfortunately, this means we delayed putting anything in the ground.  However, we will be on it this weekend.  There is a bunch of stuff we can plant now according to our Bible.

Also, there is a new Death Match poll.  Peas vs. Carrots.  Yeah, Yeah, they are supposed to get along famously.  But, what if they had a little disagreement.  Maybe the peas caught the carrots stepping out with the much more exciting lima beans?  It could happen.

Next...Tobbacky?

Dancing Nekkid in the pale Supermoonlight.

Made you look. :P  We weren't actually dancing or nekkid, but we were taking pics.  This was the best one of the night.

We call him Mr. Greenjeans.


Next...we need to learn how to use the expensive ass camera we own.  I've seen some amazing pics today of last night's moon.  Here's  some of ours:

Bwaahaahaa.

Rufus Dragon...Keeper of the Garden

This is Rufus (aka Twinkletoes).

He is a very stubborn, long-haired, dapple dachsund.  He loves Ted, b/c Ted feeds him snacks all day.  He is also Ted's constant companion.  Ted has insomnia, so his normal waking hour is 3-4am.

We deemed Rufus the Keeper of the Garden today b/c of last night's adventure with a possum.

Ted's version of what happened:

Have you ever seen a dachsund pissed?  I just did...So I let the dog out and he shoots across the yard like a fuckin' rocket.  (He was pissed off with this possum that was in his yard.)  So it's a standoff... The possum... Rufus... The possum... Rufus.  The whole time, the dog is barking like a bastard! (It's 4 in the morning and the cops will show up quickasthat in this Borough for a barking dog).  The possum... Rufus...So the possum plays "Possum" and he flops over whenver it saw me coming.  It was pretty funny.  So the dog can tell that I'M good and pissed so whenever I got to him...The DOG fuckin' flops over like HE'S dead.  It was pretty funny.  I'm standing there with a flopped over possum and a flopped over Dachsund.

Rufus vs. the Possum. LMAO.  Let me tell you about Rufus vs. the Honeybaked Ham.

We were at a party at my in-laws when Rufus figured out he could jump up on a chair and help himself to the ham sitting there waiting for hungry guests.  Now, this is Rufus.  He didn't just nibble on it, nor did he nip off a piece and run with it.  My MIL walked in, and there was Rufus with the ham on the floor.  The whole ham.  He had sunk his teeth in, pulled it off the table and was trying to drag the whole damn ham across the floor.  He didn't want some of it, he wanted ALL of it.  I swear this dog is a riot.  Now, whenever Ted bakes a ham, he labels it...

Next up...We finished the fencing, so it's Trellis Time.  And what asshat said I shouldn't play hookey?  LOL.  And Rufus vs. the Parmesan Cheese.

1 fence up, 1 to go

I know!  Pretty exciting.

We are ready to put some plants in the ground.  Tomorrow is supposed to hit 70, should I play hookey?  I'll put a poll up.

It was a real nailbiter, but the name poll is ovah!

And the winner is A-Till-A, edging out Ma-till-da by only one vote.  I give full credit to my friend Alicia for both names, because as we were having a good laugh over Ma-till-da was when one of us blurted out A-Till-A.  We were crying.  Thanks Lis for the laughs!  Don't worry, Ted will always play with nips.

The Garden Death Match is still going strong.  The collards are clearly the favorite, but maybe there are some turnip fans who like to root for the underdog and will still vote.

Next...Rain. Again.

Rubbing Elbows: Celebrity Garden Edition

My friend Bo, who resides in the Yankee Carolina, kindly sent us some pics of his garden past.  He has two tillers...and neighbors who want to community garden with him.  Color me jealous, so I feel compelled to share.

Man, would you look at that view?

Why is Bo a celebrity?  Because he takes stunning photographs.  And because he does this, he landed himself a book deal to republish James Allen's As A Man Thinketh with his photographs.  Check it out https://www.facebook.com/pages/As-A-Man-Thinketh/150860694956072?ref=ts#!/pages/As-A-Man-Thinketh/150860694956072?sk=info 

Do yourself a favor and get a copy.  It's available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble and some locally owned bookstores in SC and NC (which would be the best place to get it - support local business and all that).  Just don't buy it from Border's, because they aren't paying him his due.

I'm thinking about applying for a part-time job at Home Depot.

At this point, I feel like we've paid someone's salary there, so it might as well be mine.  We bought fencing today.  I really wanted to go with wood and wire b/c I think it's visually more appealing.  However, we went with metal stakes for durability.  So, we'll be the West Chester Hillbillies.  We've both been called worse for sure.

Anywho, we got the fence partially up.  Unfortunately, it was really cold.  When it went bone deep, we opted to take a nap to warm up.  And that's about it for what's new in our world.

Next...our farm needs a name.  Green Acres?  Nah, I'm sure we can come up with something better.  Any ideas?

Round I goes to Okra!

Round II is up.  What packs more punch?  Collard Greens vs. Turnips

Rain, Rain, Go Away

Bet you never thought you'd read THAT on a gardening blog.  And yes, I'm sure I'll be bitching about the water bill this summer.   The problem with today's deluge is twofold:  a)  the backyard is currently a swamp and b)  the Farmer's Almanac says that these can go in the ground...

That's right folks, the Wannabe's Bible says the sugar snaps are ready.  Not only are they ready, but today is the last favorable day.  Okay, we can plant them any time this month.  However, we wanted to stick to the favorable dates.  What makes a date favorable?  Apparently it has to do with the phase of the moon.  Ted tried to explain it to me but when he got to the part about dancing around the garden nekkid under the light of the moon, I called BS on it.  He pouted for a bit, but talk about building a trellis perked him back up.

Next up...fencing and critter control.

Name That Tiller Poll

Ma-Till-Da was suggested by my friend Alicia.  LMAO.  A-Till-A spawned from that.  Nipsy Russell?  Ted just wants a reason to say "I'm going to play with Nips."

The Wannabes are pleased to announce our newest addition!

21.26 in. W x 27.17 in. D x 25.39 in. H

6.5 ft.-lbs. Loncin OHV 4 stroke engine from Suburu is both powerful and efficient.

The delivery was not by stork:

Baby Wannabe needs a name.  Poll coming soon.  

Fickle, thy name is peppers.

We've got some jalapenos and some cayenne, but all the rest?  Nada.  Not one sprout.  No habanero, no giant chinese sweets, no carnivals.  I'm annoyed.

However, we are not going to let this bump get in our way.  The Volkswagon size pile of storm debris from the last snowicane is GONE.  It's Gone, it's Gone, it's Goooooone.  And we cleaned out one of my flower beds.  So the next thing to do is get the ground prepared to get some of our plants in.  The Farmer's Almanac says we can start putting some of the hardier, early spring bearers in the ground.

Next on the list, lime and manure...

Garden Death Match Poll

Vote for the veggie you think kicks ass.

One of these things is not like the other.