For a second year, he has taken up residence in the burrow he built underneath the Forsythia at the back of the yard. Right next to one of our gardens. He made an appearance yesterday, and Rufus Dragon alerted us to the situation.
I used to think he was cute whenever I pulled up, and he was sitting under the apple tree nibbling on fallen fruit. Then I read about how groundhogs are nothing more than very destructive rodents.
No worries. We have a plan for him and all the other woodland creatures that ramble through (this means you too Bambi & Thumper). We've told the eldest spawn to feel free to take some time for target practice with his paintball gun. If you see a critter with a big green or blue dot smack dab in the middle of their forehead, then you know.
What? Is that wrong?
Actually, I'm hoping that between Twinkletoes and the fencing the critters will be deterred so don't get anyone with PETA's panties in a wad. No animals have been harmed during the writing of this blog.
Next...transplanting tomatoes. And a high of 43 on Saturday? Didn't you say it was going to be an early Spring Phil? Maybe you should've stayed in Punxatawny.
Punxatawney Phil.... I can't even spell Punxatawney. (So naturally.... He'll get some paint ball on his ass if he ends up in our garden.)
ReplyDeleteOkay... So I have a confession to make.I'm actually looking forward to lighting this groundhog up. In an attempt to "Smarten myself up," I read that a groundhog can totally collapse the foundation of a house by burrowing underneath it. Some of their tunnels can reach up to 40 feet long. The neighbor has a theory. The groundhog hangs out around here because of the apple tree that near the property line. He says... "Get rid of the apple tree and you'll get rid of the groundhog." Now... I know that this dude isn't a fan of the apple tree for some reason because he keeps making hints about how the tree should go. What he doesn't realize is that I too... have a theory. My theory is that he's a dumb ass and if he can't have an apple tree... NO ONE should have an apple tree; and besides... I plugged up the groundhog's tunnel that was in our yard, now the little bastard has made a new tunnel. (Right under said neighbor's A/C unit.)
ReplyDeletePETA people! Man.....Don't even get me started on that shit.