Saturday, June 18, 2011

It wasn't me.

Did somebody step on a duck?  Who let out the barking spider?  Okay, so I have a pair of farting flip-flops.  Sometimes they make a flatulent sound when air gets between the sole of my foot and the top of the flop.  I swear.  Anywho, the Wannabes love potty humor.  We also have a remote control fart machine.  I highly recommend you get one too.  It's a great social experiment.

One time in Disneyworld, I was hangin' with my friends the Badelves and I put the receiver in my bag and let the Badelf spawnette have the remote.  She went to town with it.  I'm sure we offended people, but hey we had fun.  Another time, we were walking around downtown Charleston and the eldest spawn (who was about 8 at the time) put the receiver in his pocket.  Just watching people react was a whole day's worth of entertainment.  They either act like they didn't hear a thing.  This is great.  Or, they laugh.  The best is the look of the 8 year old.  I just love watching people.

Alright, enough of the fluff.  Today saw the Wannabes make what is now a weekly field trip to the Home Depot.  Tomato cages were on the list.  We also are pleased to announce the addition of the youngest spawn's Bog Garden to the GrowDammit Farm.

Tonight, the eldest spawn decided he needed a break from his weeklong vacation at his grandmother's pool and came home to spend some time with "us" (e.g., his PS3).  To celebrate, Farmer Ted got his grill on.  The man can cook.

Those steaks smelled so good, I almost became a carnivore again.  I had a stuffed pepper instead.  We also had Growdammit Lettuce for a side salad.

Next.  We have a couple of Guest Garden features on the horizon.  And, I still owe you a poll for the Herb Bracket.  Alas, my ass is parked with a glass of wine on the back deck and the bracket is upstairs so the wine wins and no poll tonight.


  1. So we're at the Gardening shop and we're asking this chick about Bog plants; She's pretty helpful in giving us tips on how to care for them. She goes... "You've heard rumors that you should feed them hamburger... Don't feed them Hamburger." Now... Call me kooky; But what asshole feeds a plant a fuckin' hamburger?! Who knows Man... Nothing would surprise me these days. The youngest spawn wants a Venus flytrap to add to the bog garden but they were sold out at the time. Oh well.... maybe next week. Our back deck is starting to look like a mini oasis, It's shaping up pretty nicely!

    Did ya check out those steaks?! Here's an insider's tip on grilling a fuckin' awesome steak.... Coffee. Yep, You read that right. While the grill is getting hot... Grind up some coffee beans and you PACK that shit on there... Right onto the steak! Once you start grilling... The blood and juices from the meat will blend with the coffee and make that steak Scrumdelicious.... Or however ya spell it. trust me on this one. I mean... You don't wanna overdo it with the coffee but you get the drift. (And "No" it doesn't taste like coffee.)

    Take a wild guess at what we're doing today.... Yard work. Big surprise. The flower garden is in full swing and it really looks great! Farmer Chele has that shit down to a science...She has it worked out as to where shit starts to bloom as other shit dies off.... So there's constant color.

    So we have this rabbit that has been munching on the apricot tree... Or apricot sprout; Anyways... You know what I'm talking about. The eldest spawn is going to bust out the good 'ol paintball gun and it's gonna be open season on that little fucker! I'd promise pictures of the deed but I'm pretty sure that the rabbit isn't gonna stick around long enough to have his picture taken once we splatter his ass with a paintball. (His days are numbered.) Mark my words.

  2. The steaks DO look good! I've always wondered about coffee rub...whether or not it would actually taste like coffee. Good to know that it doesn't! I like my steak to taste like steak!

    Why not trap that rabbit, and eat it? Domestic rabbit is a whole lot tastier, but...eliminating the pest AND getting a meal? Sounds like a good deal! If you know someone who raises bunnies: Rabbit poop can be placed around plants as fertilizer FRESH, without having to "cool"; it won't burn your plants!

  3. That's good to know.... I'm all about killing this thing as opposed to having another mouth to feed!

  4. ok I tried to post yesterday but couldnt so I'm gonna try again. We were FINALLY able to use garden ingrediants to make something edible. My boy and I made bruschetta using basil, tomatoes and fresh mozerella and Publix fresh baked bread. Not usually cause for celebration BUT since we got started so late in the season it...we celebrated. We are getting a butt load of cucumber, both the "eating" kind and pickling kind. I have never pickled anything in my life so we will see what happens. We have baby squash but I noticed today signs of squash borers. Just looked up how to get rid of organicly. Looks like I will be slicing and removing larve tomorrow. Fuckin YUCK! We have blooms on the banana peppers and my boy's World's Hottest Peppers. Our eggplant is starting to recover from Marley Dog's play date with Lily the neighbor's dog. Damn Mutts! Hopefully we will start getting some blueberries thanks to Farmer Ted's farming wisdom. Thanks for the tips! And yes those steaks look damn good!

  5. Maintzie.... I'll eat the SHIT outta some bruschetta... Gimme some cold beers and some brushchetta and I'm off to the races. Good luck on the blueberries; I was just passing along some info that the dude at the garden store gave us. (I don't want anyone to think that I'm some gardening, Norman Einstein!) Whoops... Shit... I mean Albert Einstein.

    Slicing Larve??!! What in the FUCK is THAT all about? Yuk Man... For once....I'm at a loss for words.


    Anyways... I saw your profile pic on Facebook with your Dad; He was sporting a pipe! That's cool as hell. I've started smoking a pipe because to be quite honest....I find that (A) I can get more flavor out of the tobacco... (B) I don't smoke NEARLY as much and (C) It's a LOT fuckin' cheaper than a pack of smokes. Up here in Yankeeland... A pack of smokes is upwards about 7 bucks a pack. I go to the tobacco store.... I can get a big 'ol fat sack of GOOD tobacco for about 25 bucks. It's like a pound and a half of tobacco. I've been smoking outta this one bag for about three months now. Give or saves about 200 bucks a month; (Just for cigarettes....That I don't need to be fuckin' smoking in the first place.) But that's neither here nor there.

    Yep! I'm back out in the yard today for some good 'ol healthy yard work. I mowed some grass yesterday but I just wasn't feelin' it. I think that I'm gonna do some "Tidy up" work on my lair; I started off strong on it about two months ago but then I started doing this and that and the project was abandoned... So that's next on the agenda. It's not that it looks like shit.... It's just that I've "junkied" it up a little. "Lived in" I guess is the right term to use. Anyways.... Whatever.