Monday, June 6, 2011

Welcome to the World Mallory Margaret!

My little sis' had her baby girl today, and made me a Favorite Aunt for the 9th time.  That's right, I have 9 nieces and nephews (not all from the same sister) and my father has 11 grandchildren.  Having 6 brothers and sisters means that there is usually a baby to cuddle or a toddler to tickle or a snot-nosed brat to tease.  Just kidding kiddos...none of you are brats, so far.

Too bad Blogger sucks, and we can't upload pics right now b/c today was broccoli day.  It's also too bad I'm tired, so anyone who was interested in the salsa verde recipe will have to wait on that as well.

Tonight we're just hangin' on the deck and watching the fireflies.

Tomorrow...more mulch and maybe some pictures and Weinergate "doggy style."

Finally, RIP to my other sister's golden retriever Graham.  You were one cool dog and will be missed.


  1. Poor Graham. Now THAT was a cool dog. Not all news is bad though! Happy Birthday to Little Miss Mallory Margaret! If you're born TODAY... Is it your first birthday or what? I've always been stumped by this... I dunno. Anyways... Goodbye Graham... Hello Mallory! (The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.) We TOO have been blessed with a new addition... The dude delivered a bunch of fuckin' mulch in our driveway. I wish that the Lord would taketh it away and spread it for me but I'm pretty sure that I've used up all of my favors from the Big Guy... So... I'll do it myself. Hopefully, it'll all get done today but I dunno.... This pile is the size of a Volkswagen so we'll see what happens.

    "Weinergate...." Hey! Whaddya know.... A politician showing off his schlong via Twitter. What in the HELL.... was this dumb ass thinking.(And then lie about it.... And then get caught... And then cry on national Television.) Boo fuckin' hoo... Stupid ass. I love the way that when he mentioned his wife, THEN he starts with the water works. Kills me. What an asshole. Okay... I'm over it. (Not really... But I'll just quit.)

    So the neighbor has bought himself a BAD ASS new mower. I helped him give it the "Test run" and lemme tell ya.... It's p-r-e-t-t-y nice. It's a Honda... and you really can't go wrong with a Honda.

    Well.... I'm outta here. It's the crack of dawn so I'll do my usual and get breakfast ready for the the crew; But before I roll out...

    I've saved the best for last. This is what's known as... "Shitting... and then stepping in it." So while Farmer Chele and I are watching fireflies last night... Here comes the eldest spawn. We get to chatting about the monster mulch pile and he's all like... "Moving mulch with a wheelbarrow SUCKS!" "When I spread it at my Grandmother's house... We use a lawn tractor and a cart." (Me) "Oh... So you know about spreading mulch, Do ya?" Suddenly he acts like he has fuckin' amnesia or something and forgets why he's outside talking with us...

    Hey Spawn.... This is what's called a "Proverb."
    "Some things are better left unsaid." Feel free to have Trevor drop you off over here after school... Me and Mister Mulch pile will be waiting. (Jackass...) Enjoy the broccoli that I packed in with your lunch. XXXOOO

  2. Welcome MM! As for spawn - well, some things can't be taught in school. First best lesson: Never pass up an opportunity to avoid saying ANYTHING. And remember - you can't unf**k something. Excuse my language, but its more memorable that way, don't you think?

  3. "You can't unf**k something." That is golden advice. Advice it seems recently Arnold, Andy, John Edwards, Tiger and a whole slew of politicians and celebrities should take heed.

    WHAT THE HELL makes these people think they won't get caught? I don't get it. I really don't. Is it the Power Rush? Have they not learned the march of folly? People please. Let me clue you in US Senator (House Member, State Governor, POTUS, Golf God, etc.)...these "ladies" are not in it b/c you are cool or b/c it's a lark or an adrenaline rush. You are going to get busted and fall from grace, and bring heartbreak and hardship to those you need in a time like this. And it will most likely to happen b/c your swooning fan needs a bankroll.

  4. Seven years ago we moved into our "little over an acre" of rural hell, which now, we think of as our home and haven ;-)
    We have carved out trails through all the blackberry brambles, while keeping the wild nature of weeds, trees and vines at bay~
    A Sears GT (Garden Tractor)5000, bought new at the same time we bought the house, shining and complete with warranty was a welcome and wonderful investment.
    Treating it with kid gloves, it's virgin ride quickly got rough when I ran it under our deck, and put a big dent in it's shiny red hood. There-by declaring it a "tool" and "not a piece of art", it lost it's aura of "honeymooner" at once and forever.
    Each year we bought the warranty, and it paid for a new motor. We have had 4 so far. We have used that red devil like a bobcat-bush extracting-veggie pulling beast!
    No more warranties (they cost more than the depreciated value of the motors) We aren't as brutal with it, now. But, it has served us well...god bless tractors.

  5. The shitter of the whole thing is.... There's a tractor (And cart) sitting at the beach house just calling out my name; Getting it up HERE is where the problem lies. As far as mowing the lawn... I prefer a push mower for that. You just can't get those "Crisp" lines from a lawn tractor, besides... The yard really isn't that big. Now.... Where a tractor DOES come in handy.... Is during the Fall when the leaves fall. The neighbor has this hopper that you can tow behind and it makes quick work of a yard full of leaves. (And I DO MEAN quick.) You've seen what I'm talking about... It's like a cart that's enclosed and it'll hold (Seriously) about 55 gallons of leaves. It's the shit. We have this sycamore tree that just fuckin' dumps leaves like crazy. It's a pain in the ass but it's a pretty tree...Lots of shade so I should shut up with the bitchin'.