Sunday, June 12, 2011


No, not us.  We may act unseemly, but that is some low-rent shit.  We were leaving Wegman's tonight after getting our Growler on and food shopping when we spied two cops going through a Walgreen's bag of  one sobbing woman.  I just can't think of justification  to commit a crime.  Bribery?  Robbery?  Is the possibility of going to jail really worth the crime?  When my dad was first in the SC State Senate a bunch of legislators were taken down as part of an FBI sting.  Taking $1,000 bribes.  These people went to jail.  Ruined their lives, their businesses, their families...for $1,000?  Crazy.  And, people are so brazen.  We were in Target a few weeks ago when Ted saw a woman breeze through the clothing department with a dress in her hand, put it on over her clothes and walk right out of the store.

I must confess to shoplifting once in my life.  I was 5 or 6ish, and my grandmother and I were in the Red & White on the Isle of Palms after church (at the Holy Cross) one Sunday.  I wanted a piece of penny candy...I think it was Bazooka, or maybe Double Bubble.  Marie said "No."  I wasn't taking "No" for an answer, so I grabbed a couple pieces in the checkout line and shoved them in my pockets.  We got back to the grandparents homestead on Oak Harbor Boulevard and my grandmother wanted some answers as to where I got the mouthful of gum I was chewing.  Next thing you know, she marched my little ass back down to the Red & White to fess up to the manager.  Thinking back, I'm sure she called him in advance because he was NOT nice at all about me stealing and even talked about calling the police (my grandmother was the clerk down at City Hall).  I'll tell you what, to this day I wouldn't even consider taking something without paying for it.  I even feel guilt if I get home from shopping and have something in my stash that I wasn't charged for.

What the hell does this have to do with gardening?  Nothing, but we did get our garden on today.  More weeding and mulching.  We planned next year's garden, and some movement and logistics of this year's that need to happen.  I got a mani/pedi, and Farmer Ted took a nap in which he dreamed that Obama moved into the hood and they sat around and shot the shit.  Apparently, I got home from the salon right as he was asking about the White House Garden.  I'll let him fill you in on the lack of security.  Oh, we paid for all of our groceries.

Next...Cold Pea Soup and 5th Grade Graduation.


  1. What a crazy dream.... Me and Obama were throwing back some beers just talking about bullshit. He seemed pretty cool but the funny part about the thing was... There was no security! I asked him about it and he was like... "That shit's only on TV.... We don't use any security." (It sure didn't look that way the last time that we went to the White House.)

    Yeah! Shit yeah.... Caught the damn woman stealing! We passed by her here and there while shopping and to tell ya the truth.... She just didn't seem to fit the bill; Hell... For starters... This chick had on better clothes than me! You can just LOOK at someone and can tell that they spend money on their appearance and that's what I got from this woman. Oh well... All that I DO KNOW.... Is that 5-0 was outside waitin' on her ass.... Busted. As for ME PERSONALLY... I'm Buddhist so I'm not attached to material things AT ALL so whenever someone steals from me personally, my thoughts are... "If you need something that badly that you'll resort to stealing it from me? Well then... Just fuckin' take it... It's yours. (All you had to do in the first place was just ask and more than likely... I'd give it to you as a gift.) Now keep in mind... I haven't always been this way. Back in the day? If I were to catch you stealing from me? That would warrant an ass cuttin' and if you'd think OTHERWISE? (Well then I know somethin' you DON'T know.) But I digress...

    A 5th grade graduation is on the docket for today. I suppose that I'll trim up the 'ol beard before we go; I'm starting to look like... uh... I dunno, John the Baptist or something. (He was the crazy looking one.) I WOULD say that I'm looking all crazy like Charlie Manson but fuck that noise... I'll stick with John the Baptist.

    It's been a while since I've said this so I'm gonna enlighten some and remind the others.... Farmer Chele's hot as SHIT! You've seen the pictures. Yeah... I know what you're thinking...."It must really suck having to wake up to THAT shit every morning!" Some days... It's a struggle but it's my cross... So I'll bear it.

    Mulch... I'm glad THAT shit is over. Actually... it's not over... The shit's NEVER over; I guess that I should say... "It's outta the way until next year." It just sounds so much better the other way. Since I'm on the subject of "Pain in the ass" things...

    Shelling sugar snap peas is truly a pain in the ass. My better half is all jacked up about this chilled pea soup so whenever she started shelling the peas... I jumped right in and helped out with the shelling. About 2 minuets into it I realized that I should have found something else to do. Tedious... Is the word that I'm looking for but there's nothing like fresh... and that's what she wanted.... So that's what she'll get.

  2. John the Baptist...lmao! Perhaps you could have blessed the thieving woman! ;)

    You're a good man to shell peas with Farmer Chele. Are you making the soup, too?

    Can't wait to hear all about the graduation! Where does the time go?

  3. I only helped a little with the soup. Chele knows what she's doing in the kitchen and she's really picky about what she eats so... I just let her do her thing.

    About blessing the thieving chick.... I've learned to keep my mouth SHUT when the cops are involved.... Here's an example. (This is a true story.)

    So I had some friends from France in town visiting and we were out having drinks, (Like we French are known to do) whenever we decide that it's time to go... So here we are going down the road... Me, Charles and Valerie... (Charles' woman.) So we go to turn the corner and THUD! We ran up on a fire plug, it wasn't like in the movies where there's water all shooting into the sky and shit but there WAS water coming from it and we were stuck ON it. Here's where the shit went South.... Little did we know... But we're in from of the Police Station... Right at shift change and just as sure as shit.... here he comes rollin' up... blue lights... Three in the morning... On the fire plug (Or hydrant... whatever they call them here.) He gets out the car and wants to see Charlie's license... No U.S. License. (Step outta the car please.) So the Q&A session was going pretty well until Valerie has had enough... Here come Zsa Zsa flying outta the car and she yells at the cop...(In quotes) "Goddammit!" "You fucking leave him alone... He's drunk!"

    Yeah.... So you can kinda figure out how THAT shit ended. (True story.)