Thursday, June 9, 2011

To the Batcave

Ted has installed amber light bulbs in the fixtures hanging over my kitchen sink.  He likes them b/c they give off what he calls "softer light."  It's what I call the Hannibal Lechter Lair Look.  Oh well, he likes them.  He's the one up at 4am.  He fixes my kids breakfast and lunch, so that I get to sleep in.  He gets to keep the creepy lights.  We have at night taken to referring to the Kitchen as the Batcave.  Ted will bust out  w/ "Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na Batman!"  We found a small plastic Batman figurine that has taken up residence in the Dining Room window.

I have never had a bat inside my house, well this house anyway, until last night. Go figure. We're chillaxing on the deck, listening to tunes, watching the fireflies, wondering why we haven't really seen any bats.  The next thing you know, the youngest spawn comes flying out of the house yelling to Ted that there's a bat.  We look in the windows, and sure enough a bat is flying around.  Inside.  Ted opens the slider to the Kitchen and out flies the bat.  Straight for me.  Okay, the eldest spawn informed me after he stopped laughing hysterically at me that it wasn't really flying anywhere near me.  I also learned that if I'm ever attacked at home, it won't do any good to scream.  Not one neighbor took even a mild interest in my welfare.  Thanks neighbors.  Rufus Dragon took no notice of the bat either.  His ass was parked in the A/C, and I don't think even a big ol' ham would've roused him.

The Dragon beating the heat.

Salsa Verde:

5 or 6 tomatillos
a couple of hot chilis (serrano, jalapeno, poblano - you can stick to one type or mix them)
a couple of garlic cloves, unpeeled
white onion

Roast the tomatillos, garlic and poblano at 425 degrees until the skin of the tomatillos start to blister and peel.  Let cool and take the skins off of the tomatillos, garlic and peppers.  Core and de-seed the tomatillos and peppers.  Throw that into a food processor or blender with the rest of the ingredients, and pulse until it's the consistency of salsa verde.

Next...I dunno, but if we have another bat incident I will torch the house and move.  I like bats, but they don't make good bedfellows.


  1. I dunno about Rufus and the ham.... if that would have been a big 'ol flying ham flittering around.... I think that the dragon would have been on it like rats on cheese; But seeing as how it was "just a bat...." he didn't give a shit. I'll lay you a dime to a dollar that the kids will keep the door closed from now on! (So it's a happy ending.) After it was all said and done... the youngest spawn goes over to the batman figurine and slapped it's ass outta the windowsill.... Talking shit to it the whole time..."YOU get outta here Batman!" I guess that he figured that batman conjured up his bat friends... Too funny. There's never a dull moment over here, that's for sure.

    Salsa Verde... Farmer Chele eats that stuff like crazy. It's just easier to buy it because otherwise.... We'd hafta make that shit 24/7. Try it on a frittata in the morning.. it's pretty good with some blackened shrimp... Some pepper jack cheese thrown on top for good measure? Good stuff.

    Hooray! It's Friday! Hopefully it'll cool off this weekend. (It's still hot as shit!) We THOUGHT that we'd get some relief yesterday because of a thunderstorm... (Wrong.) The only thing that we got outta THAT deal was some thunder and lightning and not a drop of rain. Oh well.... That's the breaks.

  2. I have been trying to comment over here for days now. Blogger has not been my friend....grrrrr!

    Let's see if this goes through, and if so, I will have lots more to say. I am really tired of typing out long messages to you guys that never want to!

  3. My husband would have passed out if there was a bat in our house. We have had birds, but never bats.Michele, please feel free to call my husband and explain how Teddy gets up early and takes care of everything so you can sleep. Teddy - never mess with a boy's action figure! You should know better.

  4. I dunno what it is Maintzie... I guess that it's knowing that someone depends on you to "Get shit done." Seeing as how I'm retired and shit like that... i don't wanna ever feel like I'm not doing anything around here. It's never been my thing to just kick back and take it easy; I always hafta be doing something... I'd actually feel ashamed of myself if I just "Took it easy" around here. Besides.... it works.

  5. Welcome back, Mare! This blog site was giving me the shits there for a little while, too. I think that everything's worked out now... I hope. it's a pain in the fuckin' ass to post something just to have it not go through....

  6. Bats?

    A true bat story!!!

    Years ago when Colleen and I were first married, we bought a little cape cod in downtown Warren, Oh. We only paid $11,500 for it and it needed a lot of work. In the dead heat of summer I tore the old built in medicine cabinet out of the upstairs bathroom. The exposed studs went up into the attic. Unbeknown to us at the time the attic was a nursery for thousands of bats.

    Any who, that night as we lay in bed in the sweltering heat. We started hearing a noise in the bedroom. It was a bat circling around and around. I flip the bed stand light on and when it passed me I escaped into the hallway and ran downstairs for a broom, which was all the way in the basement. Colleen in the meantime thinks I have abandon her and is screaming her head off. I run back upstairs, and stubbed my toe in the process. So she is screaming and I am cussing. When I get to the bedroom door, I get a bright idea. As the bat circles around, I realize that it is blind and figure if I swing the door open fast enough and at the right time it will fly right into the door. Well my theory was right and my timing was perfect. Colleen is still screaming laying on her stomach, and the bat hits the door and dives onto her butt. I think I broke it's neck as it lay on her rear end flapping its wings. Colleen is really screaming, the bat is screaming and my adrenaline is pumping.

    The broom was a Fuller Brush broom, if you remember them they were a metal handled broom. I had to put the bat out of it's misery. And I had to shut Colleen up before the neighbors called the cops. Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, I lifted the broom over my head and with one decisive swing killed the bat, on Colleen's butt.

    I rescued her, and was in the doghouse for weeks. Go figure.

    Oh, and that heavy duty Fuller Brush broom......

    I bent the handle!!!

    Ahh, sweet memories, still makes me giggle.

  7. I just totally watched that play out as I was reading it. THAT'S some funny shit. I spent some time in Warren..... About the only thing that I remember about warren was that everyone had a "Flat" roof and that's where you went to have cocktails in the evening... Everyone sat on the fuckin' roof and had drinks.

    Bent the broom handle on Colleen's ass.... Geeze slugger. I don't think that I'd get off as easy if I bent the Fuller on Farmer Chele's ass... (She bites.)

    $11,500 for a Cape Cod.... Sounds like a deal!

  8. It was built in 1918 and I don't think a lick of maintenance was ever done on it till we bought it in 1973.

    And the attic was 8" deep in guano & bat skeletons.

  9. Hey, that's the sound that broom made!


  10. She had the Batman logo imprinted in her butt for days.

    Very chic