Thursday, June 23, 2011

Wooly Aphids

On our nightly sojourn through the backyard surveying our gardens, I looked at my coneflowers and said, “WTF is that?”  Then, I quickly noticed “that” was also on the phlox, the hummingbird bush, and the black-eyed susans.  “That” appeared to be something akin to a white mildew that I have found on the phlox before, but thicker.  Like cottony.  We moved on.  Nothing new in the veggies.  I stopped to pinch back a flowering cilantro plant, and there “that” was again.  Upon closer inspection “that” was clearly a pest with wings and legs and a weird white fuzzy back. 


At piano, I pulled out the piece of shit iPhone and googled “fuzzy white garden bug” and after waiting and waiting and waiting (damn you 3G network) I saw a reference to something called the Wooly Aphid.  Farmer Ted viewed the image and confirmed that we have indeed caught the Wooly Aphids.  Which is much better than catching say…the crabs.

I digress…back when Farmer Ted and I first had our initial flirtation on Facebook (yes we are one of those couples), he made a comment on a pic of me in my “Slammin’ Halloween Witch Hat.”

I volleyed with a comment on a pic of him with a big ass stone crab “I see you’ve caught crabs, they have meds for that.”

He started making daily FB proclamations that I was the "hottest woman in the solar system," and the rest is history.

Back to the aphids.  Anonymous recently commented on one of our blog posts with an inquiry as to how we have combatted pests thus far.  Frankly, we’ve done little.  We had an initial issue with cutworms, but surrounded the young plants with cut-out Dixie cups to enable them to grow tall enough so the cutworms couldn’t get at the leaves.  Success.  We’ve been organic so far, and in solidarity with our friend Maintzie and the Becky Spach Landes Memorial Garden we will try to remain true to organic pest control.

Right this minute, we are boiling a head of garlic in water and will be spraying those menaces.  If that doesn’t work, we’ll try cayenne pepper water.  If that doesn’t work, I am not opposed to employing the use of DDT to save my flowers.  Just like I’m not opposed to lighting up Thumper’s ass with a paintball gun.  You'd better stay away from my apricot stumps, silly rabbit.

Next…Rufus vs. the Hummingbird.  Note we still do not have hummingbird pics.


  1. I. HATE. THOSE. - They ruin some good produce.

  2. Wooly aphids can suck it.... I have a surprise waitin' on their little ass this morning. We'll report back and let you guys know if the garlic bath works. (We'll see.) I'm all about the DDT....At least on the flowers; I don't wanna douse the veggies with it for obvious reasons but if worse comes to worse.....

    Speaking of chemicals in the ecosystem....

    The picture of me holding the stone crab is when we would gain grants from the State to monitor the goings on with the stone crab population in and around Charleston Harbor.... We had few seasons with the Brown shrimp as well. (Here's where the chemical part comes in.) So the local shrimpers in Charleston, South Carolina have seen the population of local shrimp...(Brown shrimp) dwindle down to about nothing over the past few decades. (Four decades to be exact.) The only thing that you hear is that.... "Well.... The shrimp just aren't around anymore." Usually over fishing is to blame.... Seeing as how "I" was the guy doing the research... lemme tell ya what "I" can safely say is the scientific cause of this. (Actually.... What we can deduce is... That the "Data suggests...) Is the cause for the reduction of the Brown Shrimp population is.... "Birth Control pills." Yeah... You read it right. Birth control pills. Here's the scenario. Let's say that you have... I dunno... a quarter of a million women in Charleston who wake up around the same time every morning.... (And take a piss) before getting in the shower; That's followed by 6 or 7 additional pisses a day... Flushed down the can... That goes to the purification station; That goes into the ocean. The molecular structure of a birth control just cannot be "Diluted," especially when the amount of chemical increases drastically year...after year...after year...after year. Besides.... The reproductive system of the brown shrimp is similar to that of a human's so....There's your answer. Not really your "Answer..." I'm bound to say that..."The data suggests" this.

    So that was my little factoid for the day. We would have done additional research but our funding was cut because the State passed a law that required every rail road crossing to have the guard arms on them... So that some stupid ass won't get hit by a train. Now... Call me "Kooky" but... Whenever you get to a set of train tracks... Don't you look for a train? I mean... Fuckin' Stevie Wonder can see a big ass train coming at him... The train whistle all blowing and shit.... And STILL.... get hit by the train. Jesus.... I give up. Taxpayers dollars hard at work. You guys should check out the "Darwin Awards." It's how stupid people do stupid SHIT and end up getting killed. I know.... Kinda morbid but I'm sorta in the mood for it..... Seeing as how I'm gonna go wipe out the wooly aphid population around the gardens today.

    Yep! The hottest woman in the solar system! (Witch hat and all...) That was one time when I looked at a picture and said..."I've gotta have it."

    And so I did. ;)

  3. If you haven't noticed.... The Basil is stomping the SHIT out of the Oregano....

  4. Teddy kill those little bastards!!!!! Watch them wiggle and squirm and take their last dying breath and.......oh sorry I have a lot of hostility towards garden eaters after losing my squash plant.

  5. Alright...Let's see what happens. I just gave them a big 'ol dose of some garlic water.

    So our automatic irrigation system doesn't seem to be working... Ya know. What the fuck. Sometimes it works...Sometimes it doesn't and when it DOES... It only works half ass. They sure don't make things like the used to.

  6. Ugh, they are almost as ugly as tomato horn worms. *shivers* I hope they all dieeeeeee!!!!

    I love Farmer Ted's Factoids of the Day. Seeing that I am not the 'typical' homeschooling Mom (whatever in the world that!) and love doing things that go against the grain, I think I shall share them with the Spawnette. She's
    all about random, interesting facts!

    I love that you are 'One of Those Couples'. I think it pretty much rocks.