Monday, September 19, 2011

Wrong on so many levels...

So, on our day trip yesterday Ted and I were walking down the street and passed a toy store with sock monkeys in the window.  And we proceeded to have a conversation that I would have never imagined I would ever possibly have in a million years.

Ted: Hey, do you remember when we were kids and the boy sock monkeys had a dick?

Me:  Nuh-Uh.  You are lying.

Ted:  Yeah man.  They came with a little pair of shorts, and when you pulled them down his dick popped up.

Me:  I have never heard of such a thing.  You are trying to pull one over on me.

Ted:  I swear to God.  I had one.

Me:  You had a boy sock monkey...with a penis?

Ted:  I sure did.

Me:  Right.  I wasn't born yesterday Ted.

Ted:  The girl monkeys had vaginas.  I didn't have one of those.

Apparently, I WAS born yesterday.

Not only a vagina, but boobs too.
As if these aren't bad enough. Googling this subject found...

Buddha Monkey

I pity the FOOL.


I have a feeling this might keep me up at night.

Or this.
Next...My ass dress.  Boy, this blog has gone WAY off topic.


  1. THIS....... Is some classic shit. (Probably my favorite post yet.)

  2. Ok the monkey with the dick looks like a girl, look at the eyelashes. Yes some of those pictures might give me nightmares!!! Thanks you two, gheesh

  3. I obviously lived a very, very sheltered life. I had no idea.

  4. I didn't notice the eyelashes Deb. It has pubes. Oh. My. God.

  5. Monkey with a sown on dick? Must be time for "Dancing With The Stars" starring Chaz Bono.

  6. Oh my fuckin' God...... See... Chaz Bono.... I'm all about to "Each his own..." But this chick actually had her boobs cut off and had a dick sewn on... For the life of me... I don't get it. I swear to God, Jesus..... I've got to admit... I wanna know how a "Sewn on" dick works. I'm fascinated by this.

    There's so many "Wrongs" associated with our blog, Man.... We were just trying to start a garden.... Grow some tomatoes.... Peppers? (Suit yaself.) Now it's come to.... "My sock Monkey had a fuckin' schlong...." Good God.

    I can't forget my Dad on his Birthday.... Happy Birthday Pop... I'm fairly certain that you're not reading our blog... about Chaz Bono... About our tomatoes and peppers... about the spawn(s)... Niecelings.... Rufus Dragon.... All of that shit... You've pretty much been dead for...Uh... I dunno... 22 years? Here's to your Birthday Dad. (Your Boy's done alright.) Oh yeah... Thanks for the Sock Monkey with the dick ;)

    Jacob Julius Drayton Thornal Sept. 19, 1929/ December 25, 1989. (My Dad!)

  7. "My sock Monkey had a fuckin' schlong...."

    Best. Quote. Ever!

    I guess I led a sheltered life as well, because until I opened your blog this morning, I had never seen (or heard of!) such a thing. What makes it even more Freaky-Dee is the addition of those lashes and lips. It's kind of a cross-dressing monkey, ya know?

    Oh, and if your blog is wrong, I don't want to be right. Just sayin'...

  8. OMG!!!! Sock Monkeys that are anatomically correct??? I have to say that this is a first for me. I fell out my chair I was laughing so hard. Love y'all! Alys Anne

  9. I habve no idea where those pictures came from but that is hillarious!!!! I had to share with everyone in my office.

  10. You mean I could have living in happiness with a sock monkey. I feel fucking robbed. You know more you pull and tug on it the longer it gets, Right Teddy!!!!!!!!

    Chad MotherFuckerCockSucker

  11. Can you believe that Chaz did the distance but did not finish the race. I know for a fact that Alexis Arquette had a big 9" cock before he cut it off to make the transition to female

    Chad MotherFucker