Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Shooting Bambi

What? He was eating our apples. He? I guess technically that makes him not-Bambi. Relax PETA. Ted shot him with the expensive ass camera.

Demon Eyes


I said Back Off MoFo.


Deer on the run.
While I was totally kidding the other day about Farmer Ted keeping a heart in a jar on my kitchen counter. My friend Jody read about our pickled shrimp, and just had to one up us.

She was all like, "My son keeps pickled deer heart in my fridge.  Neener."
Note…I had to disguise my friend Michelle’s pic b/c it is actually of her. She doesn’t wear glasses, and I’m pretty sure she doesn’t have a mustache. Although, I haven’t seen her face-to-face in a while AND photoshop is pretty amazing. Her nose isn’t that big either, ever since the procedure.

Then, last night Jody had to accuse me of being jealous that she is Mom of the Year.

She really needs to send me a picture of the pickled heart in a jar, so that I can text the spawn later and show them what’s for dinner. If she mailed me the heart, that would be even better. Then I could be Mom of the Year too.

And then my friend Pirate Tink had to chime in. It's obvious by the way she pays attention to what's going on with each and every one of my FB posts, she is stalking me.

Next...The Dragon versus the Bitch walking her dog down my street today.


  1. Laughing...so...stinkin'...hard...at...today's...post that I can't even come up with a good reply!

  2. Nice buck!!! Too funny. good thing you have your garden fenced off.

  3. I must have been having analog time when the pickled Bambi heart comment was made. Shocking, I know, but there IS life that's not cyber!


  4. I sorta figured that Tink was all into the Cyber thing... Pretty freaky Tink... But I guess it's whatever floats your boat!

    I'm glad that our garden fence is INDEED higher than the fence around the yard because that buck hopped across it like it wasn't jack shit. (Good to know before we set out to start next year's garden.)

    You can always tell when the weather is about to change because all of the fuckin' insects start to find their way inside. I've seen more spiders in the past few days than I have all Summer (Ants too) and then the icing on the cake is the heating oil guy. Rufus HATES that guy; Actually.... Rufus hates everybody that comes in the yard (That won't pet him.) Once you pet him.... It's all "Buddy buddy." Speaking of the Dragon.... Listen to this crazy shit that happened yesterday. So Rufus is hanging out in the front yard and here comes this old lady walking her dog. The dragon starts raising hell barking and then HER DOG starts raising hell. It's no big deal... The shit happens every day... People walk by... Rufus barks... It's as sure as the rising sun. So these dogs are barking and I come out to tell The Dragon to shut up and as soon as I walk out the door... This old bitch starts to cuss my ass COMPLETELY out. I was caught WAAAAY off guard; I'm use to getting cursed out (Believe me) but by an old lady? Hmmmm What to do? What to do? I was going to "Woo her" with my Southern charm and take the high road with the whole thing. (Sounded like a pretty good idea to me.) Instead... I told her that if she didn't shut her fuckin' yap... That she was gonna find herself gettin' up off of the street! (Old Bitch!) Besides... Why bitch at me if you can't control your dog? Get a fuckin' bird or something. Grrrrr. I was pissed. If she would have said ONE MORE WORD to me... I would have slapped the fuckin' Denture Cream outta her nasty ass mouth. So much for Southern Charm.

    Well... They're calling for rain today... Surprise, surprise.

  5. Good for you Ted! Tell that yanky bitch! Alys Anne

  6. Ted, the Southern Gentleman Farmer.

    Lmao...I wish there was documentation of her reaction. Now THAT would have been some funny stuff!